Relationships
More depth in to why the characters why the characters are there. What they are doing, show more of a relationship between the characters in the scene.
How it moves story on
Its starts to develop in to my Macro aspect, if you keep reading the script but in the part i show here it doesn't quite get there.
Communication of macro
shows why the character has no solace, in the original films
How real is it
I think that my story is real and believable
key improvement
more depth in to character relationships
key improvement
more depth in to character relationships
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